Представляю, что внутри у каждой из нас… пауэрбанк. Когда мы говорим об уровне энергии/ресурса/сил, мы будто нажимаем на кнопочку и видим честный ответ — сейчас вот так 📶
Чтобы зарядить пауэрбанк, нужен другой источник питания — условная «розетка». Заряжать нас может очень разное. Например, «розетки», которые напитывают меня до целостности: девятичасовой сон, время в уединении, тишина, лес, созерцание смены времён года, вязание очередного пледа, художественная книжка, регулярные сессии личной терапии, медитация, приготовление вкусной и красивой еды, внимательное чаепитие, танец, уход за растениями, писательство и многое другое.
Знаю, что среди эффективных «розеток» многие выделяют ещё спорт, путешествия, учебу, музыку, творчество, различные духовные и телесные практики, общение с домашними животными… И, конечно, многие говорят об общении с друзьями, близкими и семьёй.
И вот я никак не могла понять, что мне не нравится в том, чтобы наравне с другими источниками питания, рассматривать других людей как поддержку и способ «зарядиться». И вот, благодаря этой метафоре, поняла! Представляю, что в отличие от всем доступных ресурсных занятий и практик, люди — носители пауэрбанков, а не розетки.
«С тобой никакой психотерапевт не нужен», «я так от тебя заряжаюсь», «в тебе столько энергии, пообщаюсь с тобой и сразу улучшается настроение»— я сбежала в лес и думала о том, как много внимания я уделяю тому, чтобы заряжать свой внутренний пауэрбанк. И как быстро он расходуется именно от взаимодействия с другими.
Подруга, которая нашла час в Очень Плотном Графике и пытается впихнуть в него полгода, что вы не виделись, а чуть потрогаешь её усталость, плачет навзрыд. Муж, отрицающий психотерапию, и считающий само собой разумеющимся эмоциональное обслуживание со стороны жены. Подписчики, которых «забанили в гугле», заполоняющие директ одинаковыми вопросами. Родственники, желающие поразвлечься новостями не из телевизора, донимающие звонками и расспросами.
Нет, я не считаю, что есть особые «энергетические вампиры», но я замечаю, что есть люди, которые скорее схватят пауэрбанк со стола, даже не оглядываясь, есть ли в комнате розетки.
Замечаю, что к некоторым пауэрбанкам будто подключено сразу несколько подвешенных проводов — так, на всякий случай, вдруг кому пригодится — и оттуда по чуть-чуть, но утекает заветная энергия.
Замечаю, что одни встречи вне зависимости от того, что именно мы обсуждаем и как проводим время, получаются про взаимообмен, подъём, желание, а после других хочется только полежать тряпочкой.
Замечаю, что персона с заряженным пауэрбанком — притягательна как магнит 😍
Замечаю, что чем больше я уважаю свой пауэрбанк, забочусь о нём, своевременно его заряжаю и стараюсь не допускать полной разрядки, тем яснее мои границы в отношениях с теми, кто на свои пауэрбанки подзабили, забыли, замотались, пропустили, не учли. Не осуждаю совсем, уверена, что все распоряжаются своим пауэрбанками, делая лучшее из возможного. Но больше не за мой счёт 🙌🏻
Мы, носители пауэрбанков, можем дать друг другу очень многое, на что не способна никакая розетка: увиденность, радость сопричастности, эмпатию, нежность, новую точку зрения, обратную связь, ещё одну пару рук и голову с идеями, личный опыт и обнимашки. Преумножая, а не обкрадывая.
Впервые опубликовано в инстаграме @ann_chernykh 23 октября 2021 года.
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