(с) фотографии Клариссы Ширман
Я коротко. Второй день в Берлине, добралась до интернета в Ташин сон и вместо того, чтобы воспользоваться всеми теми чудесными советами и контактами, которые вы оставили мне в инстаграме и фэйсбуке, поняла, что сейчас тот самый момент, чтобы поговорить от этом:
Каждый делает лучшее, на что он способен.
На воркшопе для блогеров я много говорила о приоритетах, важности дисциплины и регулярности, о своих рутинах, хитростях и лайфхаках, как мне удаётся быть продуктивным блогером. И вот приехали: сегодня я тот «продуктивный блогер», который не писал две недели, не делал рассылку больше месяца, не ответил на сотню комментариев (и не сосчитать сколько писем), а ещё отменил всё, что только можно было.
Что случилось? О том, как интересно складывается жизнь, и почему мы вдруг оказались в Берлине, я расскажу через недельку в «элементах счастья». Но оправдываться не буду, не скажу, что нет времени и сил или нечего сказать, и никаких других отговорок тоже не будет.
Я просто скажу:
Каждый делает лучшее, на что он способен.
«Вы верите, что люди делают лучшее, на что они способны, что они максимально стараются?» – спрашивала Брене Браун в шестой главе своей книги Rising Strong, которую я переслушиваю сейчас. (Она есть и на русском, но перевод этот… как обычно). Вопрос непростой, ответы тоже. И всё-таки Брене приходит к выводу, что:
Каждый делает лучшее, на что он способен. На текущий момент.
И это очевидно, когда смотришь на успешных, эффективных и работоспособных, на тех, у кого всё под контролем. Но вот кто-то болен или переутомлён, и лучшее, что он может сегодня – лежать и смотреть в потолок. Кто-то разрывается между десятью вдохновляющими проектами и, возможно, не завершит ни одного, но он старается, как может, идёт по зову сердца. Кто-то спасает тех, кто не просит о спасении, кто-то лажает, кто-то пьёт. Мы все очень разные и действуем из разных мотиваций. А ещё мы ничего толком не знаем, ни о судьбах других людей, ни о своей собственной.
И когда подкрадывается мысль осудить кого-то и возвысить себя, или наоборот возвысить кого-то, чтобы унизить себя, вера в то, что КАЖДЫЙ ДЕЛАЕТ ЛУЧШЕЕ, НА ЧТО ОН СПОСОБЕН, может кардинально изменить ход событий.
Это великодушное допущение позволяет принять очень многое. Принять не значит одобрить или стерпеть, не злиться и не раздражаться (границы никто не отменял), но по крайней мере сместить внимание на реальное положение вещей, увидеть, что люди делают не то, что должны/обязаны/вынуждены, не то, что от них ожидают, а только то, что могут.
И каждый из нас так устроен. Просто кто-то может больше, дольше и сильнее, кто-то меньше, слабее и медленнее, у кого-то забирают энергию деструктивные мысли и привычки, кто-то горюет, кто-то добивается внимания любой ценой. И мы меняемся. Теряем смыслы, встречаем трудности, с которыми не умеем справиться, теряем близких, учимся жить с этим, прорабатываем проблемы и травмы, находим свою честную мотивацию, а иногда просто позволяем себе выспаться и отдохнуть.
«Каждый делает лучшее, на что он способен» – это доброта, не имеющая отрицательного полюса.
«Каждый делает лучшее, на что он способен» – это разрешение себе быть. Любым.
«Каждый делает лучшее, на что он способен» – это смелость принять окружающих такими, какие они есть.
«Каждый делает лучшее, на что он способен» – это то, что я говорю, в ответ на сплетни, осуждение и обвинения.
«Каждый делает лучшее, на что он способен» – это спасение от выгорания и трудоголизма.
«Каждый делает лучшее, на что он способен» – и больше никакого самоедства.
«Каждый делает лучшее, на что он способен» – это любовь и внимательность к себе, внутренняя муми-мама, благодарность за жизнь.
Сегодня я рада, что оказалась способна на этот пост. И буду рада, если такая простая фраза немного поможет вам. Прислушайтесь, что происходит с вами и вашими близкими, когда вы, возможно, не на высоте? Может, и вы делаете лучшее, на что способны?
Я верю, что так и есть! А вы?
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