Привет! Меня ещё спрашивают, можно ли присоединиться к Году Важных Вещей. Отвечаю, конечно, можно присоединиться в любой момент. Вместе веселее! И какая разница, какая там идёт неделя, и каждую ли неделю писать, и 7 ли вещей. Возможно, вам захочется оглянуться назад на весь 2017ый и подвести итоги в виде важных вещей, случившихся в этом году. Не сдерживайте себя! А если захотите поделиться с единомышленниками, просто ставьте хэштег #годважныхвещей в соцсетях, и мы вас найдём!
А я сегодня по внутреннему расписанию, вовремя!
Калейдоскопы
Есть у меня коллекция калейдоскопов. 22 штуки. Последние годы я её не пополняю, но те, что есть, берегу. Есть простой, металлический с пластиковыми детальками, похожий по рисунку на картонные из нашего детства, есть с настоящими стекляшками, есть деревянный с бусинами, плавающими в жидкости, есть с волшебной палочкой, по которой перетекают гелевые шарики и блёстки, японский, обтянутый тканью с оригами-журавликами, внутри которого минималистичные японские узоры, каледоскопы-октоскопы, преломляющие по-разному окружающую картинку, один очень красивый американский калейдоскоп ручной работы. Но чего моей коллекции явно не хватает, так это его — коллекционного, взрослого, со сменными дисками, о котором я тихонько мечтаю.
Почему калейдоскопы? Первый калейдоскоп появился у меня года в 4, помню, как я проводила всё время на прогулке, перемещаясь с места на место в поисках самого правильного света, в котором сияние моих разноцветных стекляшек будет волшебным, а картинка сложится в самый красивый узор. И когда такое получалось, я звала друзей и воспитателей полюбоваться.
Тогда я ещё не знала, что спустя 20 лет прочту в книге «Деконцентрация» Олега Бахтиярова про принцип калейдоскопа:
Поворачивая цилиндр калейдоскопа, мы получаем совершенно новое изображение, никак не связанное с предыдущим. Последовательность калейдоскопических картинок не образует причинно-следственной цепи и не является процессом, к которому применимо понятие целостности.
Все происходящее, меняющееся во времени есть либо процесс , либо калейдоскоп. В процессе каждая новая фаза (т.е., каждая новая картинка) является следствием предшествовавшей. Потому процесс всегда целостен. В калейдоскопе новая картинка никак не связана с прошлым. Весь объем возможного времени заключен в ней. Картинка калейдоскопа — это вечное настоящее.
<…> Психологически это означает готовность к любому новому развороту событий без своей ответственности за то, что предшествовало ему.
<…>Принцип калейдоскопа позволяет переопределить ситуацию. То, за что человек отвечал раньше, воспринимается теперь не как причина, приведшая к определенному результату, а как исходная данность. Ничего не изменилось в самой ситуации, но изменилась позиция субъекта внутри ситуации. Это позволяет спокойно принимать рискованные решения без превентивных сожалений о возможных последствиях. Вы можете без опасений поехать в чужой город без денег, ибо та новая конфигурация, с которой вы столкнетесь там, может проистекать из любых других причин — кражи, например, — для новой калейдоскопической конфигурации не имеет никакого значения, какой фрагмент предыдущей ситуации ее породил — ведь «жизнь началась с самого начала».
Заканчивать несовершенное
Варя Лялягина подсказала мне отличную книгу «FINISH. Give yourself the gift of done». Мы обе слушаем её в аудиоформате, трудно отказать себе в этом удовольствии, когда знаешь, что читает сам автор!
На меня один вид обложки с надписью GIVE YOURSELF THE GIFT OF DONE, действует терапевтически. Если бы у меня была пробковая доска, я бы непременно приколола туда эту надпись. Потому что радость от сделанного это, правда, большой подарок самому себе! Каждая победа над перфекционизмом приближает к себе, живому, лажающему, неидеальному, но делающему день за днём, понемногу, те дела, ради которых тут и тусуешься.
Джон говорит о простых вещах, напоминание о которых каждый раз даёт свободу выбирать, продолжать ли околачиваться в ловушке перфекционизма или сделать хоть что-нибудь!
О том, что больше всего народу отваливается от любого челленджа на ВТОРОЙ день — день после идеального!
О том, что мы всегда закладываем на цель меньше времени, чем на неё реально потребуется.
О том, что любую цель стоить сократить вдвое, чтобы не казаться себе неудачником, когда её не выполнишь в те нереалистичные сроки.
О том, чтобы всегда искать самое простое решение, а не самое благородно звучащее, сложносочиненное, включающее в себя кучу совершенно лишних задач.
О том, что цели, в которых нет удовольствия и фана, проваливаются первыми.
Упрощать
Каждый день я задаю себе вопрос: как можно сделать это проще? Облегчить утренние сборы в садик. Обеспечить публикацию каждого поста в блоге. Организовать уборку или её отсутствие. Спланировать новый онлайн-курс.
Чем больше знаешь, тем более причудливые формы принимает перфекционизм. Конечно, я запросто могу запустить онлайн-курс, только вот сначала посмотрю те вебинары об онлайн-курсах, которые мне посоветовали в сентябре. Да-да, вот-вот расскажу о нём, только сначала нужно продумать всю программу, технические нюансы, продумать стратегию продвижения, разработать дизайн… Бла-бла-бла. Годами перфекционизм копит орудия для поражения наших простых и робких идей. Копит даже «упрощающие» лайфхаки, создавая иллюзию деятельности. Вот-вот.
На самом деле, как говорит Варя Лялягина: «Просто — значит сделано». Если не сделано, значит там есть, что упростить.
Рождественское печенье
На моё взросление большое влияние оказали Хайди и Регина, швейцарские бабушки, которые жили в Петербурге 18 лет, а не так давно переехали на Сардинию. С ними со школьных лет связано много моих инсайтов — как, оказывается, может быть по-другому. Это они научили меня, что «да» и «нет» весят одинаково и поддержали авантюру с 18 тортами и одной мааааленькой свечкой. А в декабре я вспоминаю их с особой нежностью.
Почти каждый год они приглашали нас к себе на католическое рождество. У них всегда была ёлка с пожароопасными живыми красными свечками на ветвях, уютный самодельный декор и вкусный ужин. А ещё они каждый год дарили нам мешочек домашнего рождественского печенья. Шоколадного, орехового, с запахом аниса, в виде звездочек и сердечек, разного, в общем. Из года в года по одним и тем же проверенным рецептам они делали всем знакомым эти простые, но долгожданные подарки!
Мне очень хотелось научиться делать такие же печенья, и однажды я попросилась вместе с ними их готовить, чтобы узнать все нюансы. Хайди достала разваливающуюся пожелтевшую кулинарную книжку своей бабушки, на столе стояли приготовленные фундук, миндаль, мука, шоколад, масло, сахар и даже кирш. Был чудесный сладкий вечер. И я стала хранительницей древних, проверенных временем простых рецептов печенек. И теперь делаю их каждый год. И дарю друзьям. И всё думаю, может, пора поделиться этими легендарными простыми рецептами?..
В прошлом году мы готовили эти печеньки с подругами, и Люба Алазанкина сделала чудесные фотографии.
Субъективное ощущение счастья
Один близкий человек пожелал мне в день рождения Большого Счастья. И из контекста поздравления, как и из контекста наших отношений, понятно, что это Счастье, по его мнению, случится со мной когда-нибудь потом, когда будут соблюдены, видимо, какие-то особенные условия для счастья: ну, новый муж, там, или стабильная работа или что-то ещё такое, что для него является критериями Счастья.
И меня так резануло это. Как будто то, что сейчас, по-прежнему не считается. Счастье это когда-то потом. Как будто снаружи видно невооруженным глазом, кто счастлив, а кто нет. Как будто, когда оно наступит, цель достигнута.
Я не согласна ждать счастья. Наделять его чертами, прокладывать к нему путь, надеяться и мечтать. Нет, счастье — это то, что происходит со мной каждый день. Стоит лишь дать себе немного труда обращать на него внимание, выбирать его среди прочих опций, праздновать и приумножать. И если не сделать это сегодня, то с чего вдруг ему появиться завтра?
Читаю книжку про LYKKE, и такая она спокойная, без вау-позитива и пафоса, очень перекликается с моим внутренним субъективным ощущением счастья.
Подготовка к Новому году
Обычно время в декабре уплотняется, хочется кучу всего успеть до воображаемого рубежа между 31 декабря и 1 января. В этот раз заранее перекидываю многие несрочные дела и встречи на январь-февраль, чтобы успеть насладиться декабрём по полной. Погулять среди огоньков, украсить с Ташкой ёлку, напечь печенья, успеть рассказать о классных подарках, отпраздновать свои итоги года.
А ещё потихоньку представлять, как мы с друзьями уютно и просто проведем этот самый рубеж на даче у камина, без речи президента, курантов, суеты и чуждых нам ритуалов.
Ташкины разговорчики
Мы с Ташей много разговариваем, и шуточного, и вполне серьёзного. Она часто меня смешит, но не всегда удаётся записать. Зато истории от бабушек-дедушек очень люблю за возможность посмотреть со стороны на ребёнка.
Укладываются спать. Бабушка говорит:
— Пора спать, устраивайся поуютнее, закрывай глазки и засыпай.
— Ну, закрывать глазки или не закрывать глазки — это моё дело!
Моя девочка!
Как идёт ваш декабрь? Успеваете замечать важное?
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