Ну что, продолжаем? Пусть год будет наполнен важными вещами, и их не придётся «вымучивать» ни одной недели! Думаю, это вполне в наших руках.
Песни уличных музыкантов
10-ый класс. Я только вышла с занятия литературного клуба «Дерзание», стояла в переходе и с десятком других прохожих слушала, как светлый паренёк поёт под гитару «Колокольчик в твоих волосах звучит соль-диезом», подпевала и улыбалась. А когда он доиграл, то вдруг уверенным шагом подошёл прямо ко мне и поцеловал в щеку. Я замерла от неожиданности, даже не знала, как реагировать. Потом были ещё случайные встречи, много песен, бумажка с его телефоном, где было написано: «Демократия — это диктатура всех по отношению к каждому», прогулки, ночные разговоры по телефону, букеты ромашек, походы по музеям и даже планы поехать вместе автостопом в Крым. В том, как он берёг меня от того, чтобы я с шапкой подбегала к прохожим со словами «Поддержите музыкантов», как внимательно он со мной общался, с каким интересом слушал, была, кажется, вся вселенская нежность и бережность.
Я поостыла, когда меня в вонючем подъезде грубо прижали три взрослых гопницы, сказали, чтоб я от него отстала, и пытались отнять колокольчик, который он мне подарил. (Я, кстати, до сих пор его храню.) И ещё зачем-то я рассказала маме, что познакомилась с парнем-музыкантом со светло-голубыми глазами и пшеничными волосами. Пара вопросов, и мама сказала: «Ага, а ещё у него прозвище Крест, и лет ему не 18, как ты говоришь, а 28. Он сидел за наркотики и воевал в Афганистане. И да, он был моим пациентом в клинике неврозов». Ох. Кажется, маме казалось, что мы не пара.
С тех пор прошло 16 лет, но я всегда останавливаюсь, когда слышу уличных музыкантов. Подпеваю и улыбаюсь.
30 декабря у меня было много свободного времени, и я пошла бродить по улицам. Мне навстречу шли подростки, семейные пары, компании друзей, все были с пакетами, искали подарки, что-то оживленно обсуждали, и я на контрасте вдруг почувствовала себя щемяще одиноко. Но ребята у площади Восстания задорно запели «Мы не знали друг друга до этого лета, мы болтались по свету, земле и воде…», и как-то потеплело на душе.
Пропустить самый Новый год
Однажды такое уже было, мы с парнем отмечали Новый год вдвоём и решили, что не будет у нас курантов и шампанского, лучше мы будем загадывать желания под фейерверки, занимаясь любовью.
В этот раз мы устроили с друзьями новогоднее дачное хюгге, много смеха, разговоров, вкусной еды, камин, свечи, гирлянды… И я была с Ташкой. Минут за 15 до часа Х, она начала проситься спать и сказала, что встреча Нового года её совершенно не интересует, а интересует полежать со мной в обнимку и уснуть.
Так и получилось. Нежная моя девочка потихоньку засыпала, я лежала рядом и загадывала желания, а снизу слышны были крики «С Новым Годом!», звон бокалов, радость и чьи-то фейерверки за окном.
Я была так рада случайно пропустить всю эту чудесную громкую возню вокруг сменяющихся цифр на часах, наблюдать за ней издалека, увидеть фоточки, как всё было, уже потом в хюгге-чате. Столько в этом было спокойствия, присутствия и даже, не побоюсь этого слова, волшебства.
Когда люди из интернета становятся друзьями
Мама мне всегда говорила, чтобы я заводила друзей и берегла дружбы в школе и университете, потому что во взрослом возрасте с этим куда сложнее. Но она просто не знала, что я стану блогером и буду окружена таким количеством общения с единомышленниками, что самая большая моя забота будет в том, чтобы его ограничить :)
Почти каждый день мне пишут люди, которые читают блог и чувствуют, что мы на одной волне, но то письмо, написанное 2 года назад, я помню до сих пор! На меня хлынул просто невероятный поток яркости, искренности, энергии. Так я ощутила первое соприкосновение со Стешей.
С тех пор мы виделись трижды на тусовках журнала, но даже ни разу не поговорили толком. И вот канун Нового года, я позвала друзей на дачу и ощутила непреодолимое желание хотя бы просто предложить Стеше к нам присоединиться. И, представляете, она согласилась! И приехала! И написала потом в инстаграме:
This is how it feels like in my mind right now. Soooooo peaceful. Как же меня попустили эти первые дни года. Я вообще их люблю, медленные утра, когда на улицах пустынно, а внутри — хорошо. По вечерам изредка какие-то ленивые салюты.
⠀⠀ Вот что значит встретить год в самом корректном для себя контексте. В моей жизни так часто недостает простоты, спокойствия, комфорта и смеха. И попасть в компанию, где каждому чужда идея долженствования, это как выиграть миллион! Никакой обязательной программы, все складывается наилучшим образом само. Все — по отклику, хочешь готовить — готовь, не хочешь — не готовь, и так же с разговорами, с прогулками, с уборкой. «Без напряженья, без напряженья» по БГ, как же мне это по нраву. Ребята, вы — волшебство, спасибо❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
У Стефании, кстати, есть блог — Dare to Misfit — об искусстве не вписываться, пробовать, меняться и проявляться полно и творчески, о смене работ, борьбе с перфекционизмом и многом другом. А ещё она просто неземной красоты!
Подарки с историей
У нас в этом году смешно получилось. Я позвала друзей на Новый год с концепцией «никаких курантов, президента и подарков, будем делать только то, что хочется, и не делать того, чего не хочется». И вот, оказалось, что кому-то хочется подарков. Слава богу, мы можем достаточно откровенно друг с другом поговорить об этом. Кто-то хотел Тайного Санту, кто-то был бы рад подарку, но не уверен, что сам подарит, кто-то сказал, что принципиально не хочет никаких подарков получать, а кто-то сказал, что не хочет никому ничего дарить, но получить подарок не против.
В итоге мы безо всякого напряга, списков и обязательств приехали на дачу, кто с подарками, кто без, а самым главным Сантой оказалась Леночка, которая ничего не покупала, но прошлась по дому и набрала целый мешок чудесных вещей, которые нас порадовали. Мне достались «два добрых духа Джин и Тоник», которые когда-то принадлежали Борису Гребенщикову, нам всем показалось, что они сошли с обложки одного из его альбомов.
Снег с утра
Вот этот момент, когда ложился спать, всё было чёрным и скучным, а наутро за окном белая сказка, он всегда особенный! Особенно, когда это утро 1го января.
В такое утро я напеваю:
И можно быть
Надменной, как сталь,
И можно говорить,
Что все не так, как должно быть,
И можно делать вид,
Что ты играешь в кино
О людях, живущих под высоким давленьем —
Нооо
С утра шёл снег,
С утра шёл снег;
Ты можешь делать что-то ещё,
Если ты хочешь, если ты хочешь.
(c) БГ
Вернуться к работе 1 января
Я назначила старт курса «Место для важного в новом году» на 3 января. А это значило, что у меня был целый список дел перед стартом, полная почта переписок, розыгрыш, тестирование нового сервиса и всё такое.
Приятно идти в офис по празднующему центру, заканчивать письма адресными новогодними пожеланиями, начинать с участницами поиск места для важного уже с каникул, когда всё располагает к тому, чтобы попробовать в этом году по-другому!
Курс наш начался очень тепло, и как-то сразу с важного. Заговорили о том, как недостаточность стала нашим контекстом, как много сил уходит в недовольство и сравнения, какие есть альтернативы. Полутора часов первой встречи не хватило на все темы, продолжили активное общение в чате. Если вдруг вам тоже хочется, до конца недели ещё можно присоединиться!
Ваши записи под хэштегом #годважныхвещей
Сейчас заглянула, в инстаграме 420 постов о важных вещах! Удивительно знать, что моих только 18! А это значит, что столько других людей подхватили идею, кто-то пишет каждую неделю, кто-то написал пару раз, а кто-то модифицировал проект под себя и подводил под этих хэштегом итоги всего 2017 года.
Удивительно, что важные вещи у всех у нас почти не повторяются, а если и повторяются, то мы настолько по-разному трактуем одни и те же вещи. Чувствую, как с каждой неделей становлюсь ближе со всеми, кто это читает, и с теми, кого читаю я.
Спасибо вам за поддержку и параллельное движение рядом!
Как вы встретили Новый год? Наслаждаетесь первыми хрустящими денёчками этого года? Кто-то собрался с этой (или с любой другой) недели начать свой Год Важных Вещей?
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