фото-сушка на нашей свадьбе, фото Артёма Питкевича
Хорошие мои, я счастлива, что многим кажется актуальной тема этого блога, откликаются какие-то идеи, что вы делитесь своими уникальными историями и рассказываете про свой путь к простоте, каждый комментарий снова и снова убеждает меня, что всё не зря и всё не случайно. Меня буквально разрывает на части от желания поделиться с вами всеми-всеми своими мыслями, задумками и черновиками, свалить сюда всё вразнобой и устроить полный сумбур, но я всё-таки сдерживаюсь, буду дозировать. И сейчас, в самом начале, мне кажется важным рассказать про какой-то фундамент, бэкграунд, базу для того, что я тут пытаюсь устроить. Открыться и познакомиться. В конце концов, это просто мой блог, и я просто рассказываю про себя то, что не влезло в страничку «Обо мне».
Когда я думаю о том, как я пришла к церкви к минимализму, в моей голове всплывают не сотни книжек, имена авторитетов и тренинги личностного роста, а всего 5 вполне конкретных событий, которые многое трансформировали в моём отношении к жизни, осознанности и вещам.
Отказ от телевизора. Это произошло 13 лет назад, когда мои родители в разговоре про МакДональдс (и мой обед там) как бы невзначай рассказали о французском фермере Жозе Бове, который на своём тракторе разрушил МакДак в окрестностях Парижа, в знак протеста против вытеснения французской кухни американским фаст-фудом. Так я узнала про антиглобализм. И прониклась так, как только может 14летняя девочка-подросток проникнуться чем-то с приставкой анти-. Ходила на антиглобалистские конференции, демонстрации, читала всякого Стогова и Лимонова, говорила об этом бесконечно, пропагандировала, как могла, и считала себя бесконечно просвещенной. И, конечно, хиппи при этом :)
Пока я продолжала жить с родителями, я их реально терроризировала, отчитывала, а порой просто выключала телевизор, когда заходила в комнату. Но когда стала жить самостоятельно, стала проще относиться к выбору других людей. А когда встретила Сержа, и выяснилось, что он держал телевизор на антресолях шкафа ради финалов Лиги Чемпионов, поняла, что готова вступать с ним в серьезные отношения :)
Сейчас у меня настолько нет привычки к сменяющимся картинкам, что я почти не смотрю даже редкие ссылки на ролики на ютьюбе, которые мне присылают в личных сообщениях.
Растяжение связки во время поездки в Крым. Однажды я вышла из поезда в городе Бердянске и на ровном месте очень сильно подвернула ногу и повредила связку на лодыжке. Впереди у нас (я была с парнем) был месяц путешествий по Крыму, такая травма явно не входила в мои планы :) И всё-таки она была не на ровном месте. Когда мы вернулись домой, и я наконец рассказала родителям о том, что со мной приключилось, папа всерьез расстроился. И когда мы остались вдвоём, он спросил: «Зачем ногу-то растянула?» Я, было, с недоумением переспросила, мол, в каком смысле зачем, это же случайно вышло. Но тут до меня начало доходить, на фоне каких внутренних переживаний и каких сложных отношений произошла эта травма. Оказалось, что мне просто необходимо было чувствовать там заботу и защищенность. Папа сказал: «Ты понимаешь, что люди так и становятся инвалидами? Им изо всех сил хочется, чтобы о них заботились, хочется быть слабыми, и они не осознают этого настолько, что оказываются прикованными к постели, и получают заботу, да. Ты этого хочешь?» Тогда его слова были для меня прямо громом среди ясного неба. Я поняла, насколько я несу ответственность за свои желания, своё тело и насколько важна моя осознанность.
Поездка в Индию (и через пару месяцев в Америку). Наша с Сержом первая поездка в Индию была, конечно, очень трансформирующей. Индия была настолько непохожей ни на что из того, о чём мы знали прежде. Яркая, мощная, разноцветная, живая и… такая уязвимая. Я увидела, как живут и как относятся к жизни светлейшие из людей. Увидела себя с совершенно новой стороны. Впитала солнечного принятия, простого счастья, света, музыки, энергии… Вернулась и только и рассказывала, что стихами из верочкиного индийского цикла: «Весь в мурашках от ощущения, как ты ужасно жив, как неслыханно ты богат!» Долго не могла ничего покупать, кроме самой простой необходимой еды, у меня же всё есть, всего так много, зачем новое?
И при этом увидела перепроизводство, как оно есть. Огромные рынки, заваленные не просто туристическими сувенирами, но и безделушками для местных, всё по 5 рупий. Увидела, как именно бедность заставляет покупать, пусть ерунду, но доказывающую, что раз я покупаю, значит я существую!
А потом в Америке, где перепроизводство и перепотребление возведено уже, кажется, в абсолют. Чувствовался и невероятный контраст с Индией и её духовной силой, и, одновременно, что-то общее, охватившее всю нашу планету бедствие — желание человека всюду наоставлять следов, наесться и намусорить, заполнить всю пустоту яркими вывесками и семейными 5тилитровыми упаковками (экономия 20%!!!)
Упоминание моей бабушкой книжки «Живите легко и просто!» Однажды в заурядном телефонном разговоре бабушка вскользь рассказала мне, что мама подарила ей эту книгу, и она взяла оттуда на вооружение совет — не гладить постельное бельё, мол, всё равно сразу помнётся :) это было смешно, как будто бабушка верила, что бельё гладят только для красоты! И вряд ли моя мама имела в виду, что бабушке пригодится именно этот совет. Это было уже после маминой смерти, я как губка впитывала (да и сейчас продолжаю) всё, что было с мамой связано, чтобы лучше понять, больше перенять, увидеть во всём смысл и неслучайность. И вот, она была. Я отыскала книжку, у нас дома тоже завалялся экземплярчик. Эта книжка Элейн Сент-Джеймс 96го года издания, пожелтевшая, но ни капли не утратившая актуальности. Она о том, о чём пишет и сейчас каждый блоггер-минималист: меньше вещей, меньше спама, меньше квадратных метров, освободиться от долгов, быть просто родителями, просто одеваться, просто жить просто. На неё часто ссылаются авторы блогов, на которые я подписана, и ссылками на которые буду обязательно делиться здесь. Неслучайная книжка.
Закрытие моего магазина игрушек. Конечно, я тут не просто слукавлю, а откровенно совру, если скажу, что закрыла его по идеологическим соображениям. В первую очередь, он был убыточным. К тому же я наделала глупостей, еще когда его открывала, и эти глупости так или иначе аукались то тут, то там. В какой-то момент, пытаясь понять, что же происходит, я честно ответила себе, что ненавижу идею продажи игрушек. Идею продажи. Игрушек. Моё отношение сильно трансформировалось в процессе работы магазина, я пришла к тому, что мне приятнее кому-нибудь что-нибудь подарить, чем продать, что детям не нужны игрушки, а взрослым не нужно давать такой простой способ подменить отношения. То есть всё это будет всегда, под прикрытием чадолюбия будут покупать всё новые и новые способы отвлечения внимания детей от искренних честных отношений. Просто я не хочу быть к этому причастна. Я не хочу провоцировать никакое потребление. Для меня это путь в никуда.
Но там же, в Понарошке я увидела насколько людям необходимы душевные бизнес-проекты с человеческим лицом. С лицами, людьми, историями. Я горжусь, пожалуй, только тем, насколько человечным, неидеальным, душевным, рассказывающим истории и передающим привет из детства был этот магазинчик, нашей крутой командой и отношениями.
Закрыв свой магазин, я ясно увидела еще и то, насколько важно поддерживать локальные местные городские проекты: маленькие магазинчики, кафе, благотворительность, инициативы. Я верю в то, что любые 100 рублей, которые я выбираю потратить в таких местах, а не в крупных холдингах и международных сетях приближают нас к тому, чтобы жить в городе, где мы будем счастливы и не одиноки.
Вот, рассказала немножко о своём почти сокровенном. Мне важно, чтобы оно тут было. Расскажите и о себе тоже, будем знакомиться и узнавать друг друга с новой, очень светлой стороны, мм?
360 комментариев
Мне интересно, не было ли у вас «ломки» на пути в виде какого-то типа вещей. Например, те, которые связаны с дорогими людьми или моментами. У меня стоят пока дома сундук старинный, но очень ветхий, просто очень. И стол круглый. Вещи конечно можно как то реставрировать, но в оригинальном виде они в нашу квартиру не впишутся. А переделывать тоже — в первых не всегда умею, во вторых — это будет уже не совсем та вещь, если ее сильно менять — что часто и приходит в голову. Выкинуть не могу потому что связано с дорогим человеком. Только на дачу? Я там почти не бываю и это уже склад… Самое разумное — облагородить их, но если это не получается и девать некуда? сразу настраивать себя на то, чтобы не брать такие вещи, которые изначально не понятны…?
Аня, привет!
Ты очень-очень хорошо пишешь, с удовольствием читаю и буду читать дальше — пиши еще.
Знаешь, что интересно… Все, о чем ты говоришь настолько попадает в мое видение дизайна. Я после очень и очень долгих мучений даже свою диссертацию пытаюсь свести к тому, чтобы написать про простоту и минимализм, интуитивный дизайн и снижение визуального шума, визуальную экологию и другие подобные вещи.
А ты пишешь вроде бы и про другое, но все равно очень созвучно, и, прямо скажем, вдохновляюще. Здорово, что ты это затеяла. Удачи!
Анна, большое спасибо за этот блог. Все о чем вы пишите откликается во мне. Мне повезло и в детстве у меня большую часть времени не было телевизора, родители решили купить вместо него посудомойку, спасибо им за это. И сейчас уже в моей семье его тоже нет)))). Мой путь к минимализму начался с видео TED конфиренции Грэм Хилл «Меньше вещей — больше счастья». Помню тогда я вычестила от хлама все уголки квартиры, в которых прячутся годами загадочные вещи — кладовка,балкон… Оно меня вдохновляет и по сей день. Периодически смотрю, чтобы подзаредиться. Помню я очень расстраивалась, что мало информации на эту тему. Так что ещё раз огромное спасибо! Читаю в захлеб. ))))
Я тут поняла, что у меня тоже есть перекличка с темой простоты, но немного с другой стороны. В вайшнавском мире есть фраза (Шрилы Прабхупады) :» простая жизнь, возвышенное мышление»
Меня она всегда цепляла и я спрашивала нескольких людей, которые глубоко изучают ведическую философию: как применить эту фразу к нам, живущим в городах, в современном мире. Но пока не смогла услышать ответа. Мне кажется, большинство из нас живет как раз сложной жизнью, из-за навязанных вещей и мыслей. И путь к простоте он как внешний, так и внутренний.
Мне роскошь распоряжаться жилым пространством пока не светит — у нас заправляет всем свекровь и она очень цепко держится за все накопленные за год жизни богаццтва. Но я ищу поддержку со стороны в борьбе с этим бесконечным процессом накопления. Так что буду пристально следить за вашим проектом =)
Когда-то переезжали с подругой на новую сьемную комнату. Спаковали вещи. 8 огромных сумок с одной комнаты (даже не квартиры). Это притом что половина вещей еще у родителей. Меня это привело в такой ужас, что с тех пор с каждым переездом сумок в два раза меньше чем в предыдущий раз).
Сильно повлиял еще Генри Дэвид Торо.
И вегетарианство. Сначала просто неприятно было есть животных, а потом увидела, насколько это глобально.
Аня, как же хорошо ты пишешь! С удовольствием читаю и думаю ) продолжай, пожалуйста.
Так сразу и не вспомнить собственных примеров из жизни, которые сильно повлияли на меня… Надо подумать )
У меня нет особой тяги к минимализму, скорее к рациональности. Все памятные вещи и то, что хранилось на всякий случай, осталось у мамы в Питере, а когда я через три года вернулась, воспоминания и вещи обернулись горой ненужного хлама, который легко выбросить. За шесть лет на новом месте мы три раза переезжали, что тоже позволяет пересмотреть запасы. До покупки жилья решения принимались просто: образование, творчество или путешествие — берем, пятая юбка подождет. Сейчас, когда есть и жилье, и работа, я стала проще покупать не очень нужные, но красивые вещи: платья, шляпы, графин для мадеры — если я этим регулярно пользуюсь и радуюсь, значит надо.
Я люблю иногда почитать про минимализм: Торо, http://mnmlist.com/archive/, http://www.theminimalists.com Читаю, читаю, а потом вхожу в раж и минимализую список блогов тоже.
Аня, действительно, как хорошо Вы пишете) И огромное спасибо за то, что делитесь мыслями. Я редко что-то пишу в интернете, но сейчас действительно захотелось оставить комментарий.
Сложно составить список событий, которые сформировал мой образ мысли — бывало, это всего лишь строчка в тексте, а бывало, это целая история — но некоторые «красные вешки» перечислю.
1. Пойти наперекор стереотипам, собственным страхам и постулату «живи как все». Что за громкие фразы?) С раннего детства моей любовью и страстью были мотоциклы — сама не знаю, как так, ведь я ещё маленькой девочкой тогда была. И вот смотрела я много лет, как парни ездят — девушке же не положено, так не принято, родители будут против… Шла как-то по улице и в голове чётко щёлкнуло -я могу, нет причин отказываться от того, что ты любишь. В 16 лет получила права и вот уже более 10 лет езжу. Сколько косых взглядов пришлось пережить, сколько скандалов дома, сколько синяков, царапин и ран. Но до сих пор вот какая картинка десятилетней давности стоит у меня перед глазами6 как-то возвращалась я поздно вечером из гаража, где училась собирать-разбирать отданный мне на растерзание мотоцикл, захожу в маршрутку и сажусь напротив очень намарофеченной девушки. Я: старые джинсы с пятнами масла, кроссовки, черные от технической грязи ногти. Она: высокие каблуки, дорогая куртка, облегающая юбка, яркий маникюр. И вот что я тогда запомнила — она сидит такая вся натянутая как пружина, она как в клетке во всём этом образе, а мне хорошо, я свободна.
2. Книги Ивана Ефремова — прежде всего «Таис Афинская» и «Час быка». Я впитывала их как губка, в голове теснились мысли, росло огромное уважение к гению автора и, вместе с тем, неприятие к информационному и материальному мусору, который засоряет наши жизни. Простота, красота (а не искусственная красивость), свобода, творчество — вот основные «герои» книг Ефремова.
3. Выключить рекламу, а затем и телевизор. Если не смотреть, не слушать, не читать рекламу — через неделю-две голова словно становится чище и прозрачней) Второй этап — включать телевизор изредка, только ради важных передач или фильмов. Третий — не включать совсем.
4. Вот не поверите! Как-то раз я подвернула ногу…) Момент тоже был не случайный, как я поняла потом: куча забот в семье и институте, нервозность и злость на окружающих. И вот, бегу рано утром по лестнице, опаздываю в ненавистный институт (с программой которого я не согласна, но магистратуру уже сложно бросить и уйти без диплома), представляю, что после лекций день тоже будет безрадостным и хоп!!! на самой последней ступеньке спотыкаюсь и подворачиваю ногу! К вечеру нога распухла, я уже не могла ходить — пришлось вызванивать папу, чтобы возить меня на машине от дверей до дверей. И вот что удивительно, голова сразу очистилась: не могу ходить — значит не могу делать все эти «архиважные» дела по дому, ехать за покупка. Сразу нашлось время поговорить и подумать. И очень хорошо помню, как резанула меня мысль — а ведь пока я хожу, сколько у меня возможностей жить лучше, да хотя бы пробежать по улице или погулять по лесу, и как тяжело инвалидам, для которых всё это невозможно. С того дня я стала аккуратнее. А потом получила свой диплом и отказалась работать преподавателем в своём институте, чтобы не плодить эту неправду.
5. Книга Эстес Кларисс Пинколы «Бегущая с волками». Не дочитала ещё, но чувствую, что это важная вещь в моей жизни. Книга о настоящей дикой женственности, об архитипах, о творчестве… и всё это со сказками)
Много написала, и что-то не в тему наверняка, но так уж вышло. В конце только добавлю, что в результате всех этих изменений, случившихся в моей голове, я приняла решение поработать в школе. Зачем? Хулиганю на уроках — разговариваю со старшекласниками про избыточное потребление, антиглобализм, осознанный выбор, заставляю писать сочинения, чтобы узнать их мысли. Кто-то смеётся, кто-то сидит в смартфончике, как и сидел раньше, как всегда сидел, у кого-то глаза горят.
Спасибо большое за блог. Мне очень нравится название, звучит, словно девиз «может быть по-другому». Очень хочется в этот девиз верить.
У меня сейчас (достаточно долгий период) огромное желание перестроить жизнь так, что бы быть гармоничнее и счастливее наедине с собой, но при этом остаться работать в индустрии, где я работаю сейчас (наука). И очень хочется верить, что это может получиться…
На меня очень сильно повлияла поездка в Швецию, увидела тогда, как можно относиться к пространству вокруг себя, пришло осознание того, что большое начинается с малого, что нужно начинать с себя. А потом появились занятия йогой, начала задумываться о питании и потреблении в целом.
[…] потребление. При том, что я отказалась от телевизора 13 лет назад по тем же соображениям, по которым не смотрю его […]
[…] для меня, особенно в контексте этого блога (помните, я писала в самом начале про 5 событий, сформировавшихR…), что мне хотелось поделиться с вами какими-то […]
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